To the question “What do they have, that I don’t have?”,
This isn’t a love letter to you because I feel anything but love for you. You ruin people’s dreams, their drive, their courage. And it’s time for you to stop doing that. People ask you thousands of times every day. Every time someone asks you, their dream breaks a little. Their wall of confidence begins to crumble. Why do you have this affect on us? Why do you seep into our brains at the worst possible times? I was doing okay, until I started doubting everything. Until I asked you.
Why do we ask ourselves questions that have an answer that will only hurt us? If you are asking yourself “what do they have, that I don’t have?” you most likely already know the answer to it. It’s something YOU want. Wether its a super fit body, the person you’ve been crushing on, or your dream job; they have it and you don’t. But that’s not the answer you’re looking for. What you’re looking for are only things that will tear you apart. You want the answer of things you can’t change, such as;
“She’s prettier than me”
“He has more money than me”
“She started years ago and now its too late for me to start”
“He has a better body than me”
All of those answers above are false and you need to stop your brain for a second. Put your hand on your heart and feel it beat. What is your heart beating for? What do you love? What dream are you chasing?
Today we are going to use me as an example and talk a little bit about my dream and how this awful question has affected me in the past.
So, what is my dream? My dream since I knew what YouTube and Instagram was, was to be a content creator. I wanted to make videos, take super cool pictures, and just share my life and passions with the world. I followed so many amazing girls such as Bethany Mota, Aspyn Ovard, Tess Christine, Sincerely Jules, and MakeupbyMandy24. These super talented women gave me the courage to chase my dreams.
I posted my first Instagram picture of a mushroom on August 21, 2011.
My first youtube video was posted on March 25, 2013.
7 and 5 years ago, I started chasing my dreams. Why am I not where I want to be by now?
What did THEY have that I didn’t have?
Strength, courage, and motivation. These three key things helped them all stay consistent.
Those are the things they had that I didn’t have. From 2011-2017, I was NEVER consistent. I had periods of consistency where my channel would start to blow up. I had a morning routine with over 300,000 views. My channel overall has more than a million total views! If I had stayed consistent I would be way more successful now, than I am.
But when I asked myself the question, I never answered myself with “Strength, courage, and motivation”. Because I didn’t know then, what I know now. Instead I answered myself with “she’s prettier“, “they have more money to buy better clothes”, “I’m not cool enough”. I was my very own hater.
A few hours after I posted my very first YouTube video, a few kids at school started making fun of me on twitter. I will never forget who they are or what they said, because they were my first haters. How could I forget them?
But do I remember my first compliment, my first subscriber, or my first like? No. And here is the problem!!!
We always focus on the negatives and the bad, instead of the GOOD. We ask ourselves questions, that have answers that will only bring us down. We attach to hate, instead of love. We let jealous cowards behind computer screens control who we are and what we think of ourselves. We are our very own haters, when we need to be our own cheerleaders.
Strength, courage, and motivation.
They had strength because they didn’t let the haters stop them. They had courage to be nothing but themselves, and they had the motivation to keep doing what they loved.
Of course the women I looked up to have taken their breaks, and have had their bad days where sometimes the hate and discouragement becomes too much. And that is okay. We are only human. But they never let it stop them for long. I let it stop me.
I’m writing this blog post to tell all of you dreamers to not be like me. To not be your own hater. Stay consistent, follow your dreams, you can do it. I’m doing it now. I am so done with bringing myself down and being my very own, biggest hater. I want to chase my dreams. Sure, I totally dipped a little into my savings to start this blog, but you have to look at your dreams like an investment. You’ll never be rich enough, you’ll never be fit enough, and you’ll never be 110% ready. As my fav youtuber Sarah Day says “the perfect day doesn’t exist”. You have to be ready on the inside to be ready on the outside.
Be fearless. Do it anyway. Be brave. Don’t get in your own way.
I love every single one of you. And if you have a blog you want me to read, or you just started your Instagram and you need a first follower. Please, my Instagram messages are open, you can feel free to dm me at anytime my username is @Martabean.
Remember to always love who you are.
xoxo, marta bean.